Hello my friend, want tuk tuk where you go, give you good price, want ping pong show?? Maybe I take you to place for Thai massage, very nice with happy special ending very much you like - you guessed it I’ve just arrived in Bangkok, Thailand, got the bus from the airport to Kao Sahn Rd and this is what I was greeted with. After finding a place to stay I head for the world famous Kao Sahn Rd to see what all the fuss was about, just like in the movies with people all over the place, foods stalls, tables full of cooked bugs and insects, neon lights, men dressed as ladies, $2 sucky sucky, every second person trying to sell you a custom made suit that is the best in Thailand, the whole shebang. Got me a Thai Green curry and I must say it was  a fine piece of cuisine at that, followed by a stroll around to check out all the different bars, all in all a quiet night, definitely what I needed after that last night with everyone in London for the rugby and other  shenanigans.  However to those people that think Thai food is the best…… it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING over proper Mexican food in Mexico, treat yourselves, go to Mexico.

Waking up in Bangkok is not the prettiest sight, I looked out the window to find the city submerged in a sea of pollution and the lady below my window cooking on the side of the street while a cat sat next to the cutting board, I’m still unsure as to whether it had all its feet or some had been added to the pot. First day in Bangkok I get a tuk tuk and drive around  looking at the various giant Buddha statues around the city, beware people visiting here the tuk tuk drivers will take you to where you want to go but via l000 suit shops first and also a few TAT tourist agencies where we were told to get out unless going to buy, you see in Thailand you are not allowed to have a look around it seems, you go into a shop you buy something or get out.  Time to check out the long tails and do a canal tour, a long tail is basically a small boat with a car engine on the back and a propeller sticking out attached via broom stick handle. I head down the river to see one of the Thai temples, the Royal palace, floating markets and fish feeding grounds along with the Thai houses and villages floating along the side of the river banks.

Going north brings me to the town of Kanchanaburi, the site of the famous World War 2 POW camps and the bridge over the river Kwai. Formerly occupied by the Japanese in world war 2 this town was the site of horrific atrocities where over 1million Aussie, NZ, US, English and other troops lost their lives in POW camps while building what would later be known as “death railway” due to the number of lives lost building it, linking Thailand through to Burma. To get the full story we got a peddle bike chauffer to take us to the Jeath War Museum, containing photos, paintings, books, newspaper articles, personal recollections and war time memorabilia. You cant help but get emotional when reading the stories and photos of what these soldiers went through, limbs rotting off, dysentery, blindness, executions all to protect their country and it wasn’t all that long ago. POW memorial graves were next with endless rows of plaques dedicated to remember those brave soldiers from various countries that died but were never found, then a trip to the bridge over the river Kwai. This bridge was the key to the Japanese rail effort, 10’s of thousands of POW’s died building this bridge all while foreign troops conducted bombing raids overhead to destroy it, a very heartfelt day. We actually stayed in a little hostel on the edge of the river with the accommodation actually being floating pontoons on the river, was pretty cool except for every night they would have huge big river boat parties going back and forth past us. Again not to good on the pollutions side with all the toilets going straight into the river, and all the locals swimming in it too. The night markets here are great with loads of different Thai dishes and all super cheap, I found myself at the bug stand eating caterpillars and butterfly larvae, kind of tasted like an overcooked chip in bad oil, I’ve done it once, don’t think ill do it again but the little kids eat it like candy. Checked out Erawan falls which is a series of 7 magnificent turquoise colored waterfalls with jumps, slides, fish nibbling your feet and came home on “death railway”.

Ayuthaya was next on the list, being the capital of Thailand from 1300's to 1700's with a population of around 1 million the name means 'invincible city', given to it for its geographical uniqueness. The city sat on a 4km wide island surrounded by the meeting of 3 rivers, giving the city protection from any invading forces; it was the most famous and wealthiest of the old Thai cities. Being such a wealthy city it has many old temples, Wat Mahathat is the most visited of the old temples being somewhat restored to its former glory and also for the famous Buddha head in the tree, where an old fig tree has grown around the head of a Buddha statue leaving the head lodged in front of it.

After getting the hiking bug from Macchu Picchu in South America, I’d been looking forward to the next part of the adventure since I got to Thailand, a three day trek through the Thai jungle staying with hill tribes in remote villages. We met our guides, an old Thai guy in his 50's called 'Superman' and his 22 year old son called 'Superboy' who carried water and food supplies plus our translator/guide Khan. ELEPHANTS!!!!, the first thing on the agenda was ELEPHANTS!!! Doing a ½hr ride through the jungle sitting on top of these things you really appreciate how powerful and massive they are, tree in the way?? Wrap its trunk around it and tear it out of the ground or break it in half, villager talking shit on the path, just eat him. I was on big momma who had a baby about 8 months earlier and was along for the walk as well, even trying to hold and wrestle this little tacker was a task I couldn’t accomplish, it just head butted me clear out of the way. After going through the jungle, small village and a couple of river crossings it came to the end of the road for the effalants, climbing down to feed them bananas for their hard work, not just one or two though, they eat them by the bunch, about 8 of them. The rest of the trek started off in true Thailand form along narrow muddy paths through the rice fields at the base of the mountains, river crossings over dodgy bamboo bridges and into the dense thick rainforest, I was already having a little trouble coping with the heat and humidity after being out of it for so long. Up, down, up, down, trees, jungle, more rice fields, lot of sweat and another river crossing before we arrive at base camp 1 shacks made of trees, bamboo floors, roof of leaves and some mosquito nets to keep the buggers out at night. A complimentary shower in the stream nearby was more the welcomed and the feast our guides cooked up was fit for a royal family. Entertaining ourselves with a good old deck of cards got a bit boring so I made things a little more interesting with my ‘catrobatics’ display, thanks kitty.  Arriving at base camp 2 the next day I touched up on my catrobatics skills again before checking out the next local village, seeing how simple they live, learning about how they farm, what they eat, what roles the men, women and animals play in the village and their customs. In Thailand it is customary for the girl to ask the guy for marriage, then the girls parents go and drink with the guy and his parents and make sure everything is all good, prolly wouldn’t go so well in our culture. All the village kids came round to the hut we were staying in and we served them all up a mix of noodles and fish before the kids all gathered round and gave us a sing and dance session of songs they learn in school, we had to sing some back, I ripped it up with heads, shoulders, knees and toes, fully sik. On the last day we checked in at a local kindergarten and school for some more singing and presents before the rain set in and we started hiking back out. Hot, humid, muddy paths, more dodgy river crossing and plenty of people going ass up on the way. It was such a relief to get back to the simple life after being in London and Bangkok, hiking, no power, no cars, simple food, wooden floors, river showers, the whole works, however by the time we got back I was definitely ready to sleep on something other than a wooden floor.

Going even further north I arrived in Chang Rai and the most northern point of Thailand, the Myanmar boarder and the golden triangle. They call it the golden triangle as it’s the point where three rivers meet separating Laos, Myanmar and Thailand by a small body of water. Went to this awesome monkey temple, monkeys everywhere in the trees, all over the buildings and you could feed them. Got a bucket of peanuts but the sneaky buggers come at you from every direction, as you turn around to feed one another is climbing up your leg or bomb diving you out of the trees to get the peanuts, we were amateurs at this game and they got the better of us, I accidentally scared one when I dropped my camera case and it turned into the full demon monkey attacking my leg with a fist full of fury and scratches. Dean and I tried our hand at fat Buddha guts before Dean, Chey and I sat for a bit of meditation with the fat bloke himself. A day of chilling out and oh the joy of a 13hr overnight train back to Bangkok, yay!!, Looking forward to getting back to Bangkok, Swoop will be there fresh from Pommy Land and ready for the charge into Cambodia!!.