8 million people and 9 million motorcycles, Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) is out of control.  Funnily enough one of the main tourist things to do in Saigon is to just cross the road. 100’s of motorcycles speeding down the road you just have to take a brave step out, look straight ahead and keep walking without stopping or flinching and hope you don’t get mowed down. Once you’ve mastered crossing the road you can check out the rest of the place, as usual lots of markets and people trying to sell you useless crap really cheap so we head of to the Ho Chi Minh War Museum. Its like a toy shop for anyone interested in planes, tanks, helicopters, guns and other type stuffs along with a lot of graphic and painful pictures detailing life in Vietnam during the war and the consequences caused from the war. A lot of the photographers during this time died but by taking the pictures ensured people would never forget the horrific images, forests totally flattened, napalm and agent orange chemical poison victims, images of bodies scattered all around the city streets, plane crashes, explosions soldiers carrying their friends out, gruesome stuff. Kuchi tunnels were another top priority, a tunnel system underground where by the Vietnamese could live, cook, hide, move from city to city, attack American troops, ambush and defend. When interviewing American soldiers they described the tunnel system as being so complex and advanced that they couldn’t fight it and during the entire war never captured this area, a huge accomplishment considering all the Vietnamese people fighting here where peasants and women with little to no training. The tunnels were three levels deep down to 10m with booby traps, underwater river entrances and secret passageways, when I went down inside them you really can appreciate how smart they were and why the Americans were scared of this area. Lots of shopping and etc on the streets, plus the grandiosity that is the Lotteria Burger chain with its mouth watering Star Moi burger, so good and second only to the one and only Aussie KFC works burger.

Vietnam has great beaches and coastline and from Saigon we head to Nah Tran, a beach city with lots of islands around it and hit up Funky Munky’s boat tour, a day of epic proportions and non-stop fun. Old style big boat with about 30 people first stop was a island caye swimming and snorkelling, the boat was double decker so Brad and I put on our spider man pants entertaining folks with back flips and etc off the roof. Off to another island for lunch on the boat and what a farkin feast at that, the centre of the boat turns into a giant table and they cover it in all sorts of Vietnamese and fresh seafood to get into, followed by a performance by the Funky Munky Boy band, oh yeah the guys pull out the guitars, drums and etc and start wailing away on stage for about half hour with a combination of western and Vietnam songs and they were pretty darn good at that. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better Funky announces happy time!! Out from behind the back of the boat comes a floating bar and orders everyone into the water. Buckets of some super death mix we all float up to the bar, glass empty do a shot, say the word ‘No’ do a shot, basically just ½ hour of doing shots flat out while floating around in the sea, giant big speakers pumping out Prodigy and Chemical Brothers – mate this was turning into an awesome day. Met two kiwi sisters on the boat, one of which was her birthday so funky kept the drinks flowing while we went to the next island and everyone had a go at the parasailing. Heading back home the mood was set for an awesome night out however I had a bus leaving at 8pm so the kiwi sisters and I hit the Red Apple Bar up straight away for some birthday shots before leaving. We were having an awesome time until an ‘incident’ happened in the bathroom and the sink got broken off the wall and smashed so we high tailed it outta there, however on the way back a little later they caught up with us so we denied the whole thing and I told the girls to keep walking while I sorted it out, the little Vietnamese security guards tried to stop me from leaving so I basically picked them up and put them aside.  They must have been feeling a little intimidated at this stage cause they then proceeded to attack me repeatedly with pepper spray which in my drunken state turned me into a raging bull throwing little Vietnamese men all over the bar – that sh*t burns like hell. After some time the crowed watching numbered about 30 Vietnamese, after copious amounts of pepper spray and yelling we came to agreement and I paid them $500,000 dongs ($60) jumped on the night bus which was now 45mins late to head to the next town with a burning face, now you cant say that isn’t an eventful day.

Surprisingly I woke up when we got to Hoi An and felt quite good except for the fact that my face was burning and the skin was peeling off. Hoi An is the quiet relaxed custom made capital of Vietnam and the only thing on my mind was getting some grub, just as I sit down in a cafe the world basically shrinks down into a small lane where everyone knows everybody. I look over at the table next to me, no way that cant be!!! Paul, one of the guys I used to work with in the mines in Mount Isa is sitting there with his girlfriend – how small can this world get!. Now, ive been searching the world for this and never found it so I don’t care how much it costed – I'm going to get it made, zebra skin leather shoes, oh yeah baby. Extremely happy with myself I decide I need something to wear with these bad boys, time to get a custom tailored suit but I don’t want black to be common like everyone else so I make the most obvious choice, fluorescent yellow - this bad boy could be a landing beacon for space ships and blind small children. With the outcome of the suit, the quality of the workmanship and pure sheen value I decided with the help of English fashion guru Jo that another suit in bright purple should be made, she on the other hand decided on buying a second backpack and filling it!!!. With all this out of the road it was time to sink back some high quality Vietnam vodka with Paul who being a chemical engineer would later inform me that is basically pure straight nail polish remover maybe with a hint of metho, ‘mmm cant wait till tomorrow when we piss blood’we both jokingly remark.....the night got quite messy and ended up on the back of some motorbike taxis being taken out to king kong bar in the middle of the bush, Jo had troubles getting both on and off them saying hello to the dirt each time, great times!!!.

We take off through spectacular Hai Van mountain pass, considered one of the most scenic drives in the world, at the top of the pass remnants of fortresses and battle stations from the wars complete with M16 machine gun holes in the walls. 5hrs later we arrive at Hue which is known for its magnificent architecture of its Citadel, Royal tombs and temples. Onto the back of little moto taxis we look like giants compared to the miniature drivers and meander off through the endless rice fields and alley ways visiting unknown markets full of huge live fish being decapitated, a strange 100yr old Vietnamese fortune teller, and a monk temple before having an amazing lunch at a monastery and a 1hr kip, oh yeah. We strolled through the royal tombs and temples which are beautiful scenic garden walks and structures and to a copy of the roman coliseums where they used to train elephants for battle by putting 5 of them up against an angry tiger, how cool would that be, and in the tiger holding area you can even see the scratch marks etched into the concrete, pictures best describe all these.

Halong Bay is another one of the things that has to be seen before you die because words really cannot describe how amazingly beautiful and unique this area is with hundreds of massive limestone karsts rising up out of the clear emerald waters with caves, rainforest, secret retreats, and monkey islands, it was like the definition of paradise to cruise our boat for 3 hrs amongst them and soak up the tranquillity.  We stop over on Cat Ba island for the night and the next day head off sea kayaking through the limestone karsts to monkey island, of course the aussies were blazing away out front followed by the polish contingent and as with every sport, food or even sewing competition the poms were so far back we could hardly see them. As soon as we got to the beach monkeys came down out from everywhere to try and steal and pillage as much as they could, the little ones where awesome doing forward rolls and flips down to the water. To pass the time we had Aussies Vs Polish Vs English competitions, and who could have guessed, 1^st = Aussie, 2^nd = Polish and last the Poms again.

With my trip coming to an imminent end we head back to Hanoi for the last dinner, the perfect time to try out my new suit, and I must say it was a hit especially walking the 10mins down the street to the flash restaurant. A final game of kings sealed our fate for the last night and the next day everyone started going their separate ways, I had such an awesome group of people to experience Vietnam with, I miss them all and cant wait to catch up again maybe in Poland, Melbourne or even if god forbids it means a trip back to horrid Pomgolia (aka England). Thanks to everyone for such a great time, for those of you that haven’t been to Vietnam I definitely recommend it, really great place with a recent and tragic history surrounded by many beautiful beaches and natural wonders.

Lets see what the next exciting chapter and country brings, thankfully I know its definitely not office work =), enjoy life, travel safe and for those work/career types..... get a baby sitter, take some time to get out there and go somewhere crazy you’ll love it.